woodelf68:

spockslash:

Our mom, Dee, Fandom Grandma, wrote this for you and asked that we share it after her passing.

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Oh my darlings. My fandom friends, my fandom family.

This is a difficult message to write.

It has become clear that treatment can no longer help me battle the cancer that has invaded my body, and it’s time to prepare myself to say goodbye to those I love.

That includes all of you.

I have struggled mightily with how I should do this.  Should I tell you now, so you will not be blindsided by my passing?  Would telling you burden you unnecessarily ahead of time?  I don’t want you to worry about me. I want my last few months or weeks to be an opportunity to give as much love and kindness as I can, to cheer on your wonderful fan art and writing, to share as many memories of the early days of fandom as I am able, and to enjoy the fun I have in being with you.

So after much thought, I’ve decided to ask my children to let you know of my passing when it happens. If I hurt anyone with the suddenness of that announcement, I hope you can forgive me and know that I meant well by this decision.

I hope you know that you have enriched my life immensely in what turn out to be my final months. What fun it has been to be a fan among fans again!  I feel so lucky to have discovered modern fandom and this community when I did. You have taught me so much. You’ve impressed me, moved me, made me laugh, and brought a whole lot of happiness to my days.

I hope you know how honored I feel to have been embraced by you as your Fandom Grandma and your friend. It’s humbling  to be given this opportunity to care so openly, so freely. I am touched by this, daily, more than I can say.

I know that some of my adopted family here are not in happy family situations in their off-screen lives. It troubles me that I will not have further opportunity to tell you how special you are, how unique, how precious.  That you are worthy of love and happiness.  Please know that wherever I am, my caring about you and believing in you will still go on.

Dear beautiful hearts — and that means every one of you — please be kind to yourselves. And to each other. Please, please keep fandom a place where we are welcoming to newcomers.  Where we value each other, even if we don’t agree on specific ideas.  

And please go on enjoying fandom, as long as it is meaningful and positive for you. I hope many of you will be fandom grandparents to the generations that will follow! Please keep writing and creating art. Keep our traditions alive. I’m passing the torch of this historic fandom on to you now. 

You are amazing. I love you. I know you will make me proud.

You chose the right way to tell us, Dee (I write, as if you will read this, as that is how one responds to a letter). There was nothing we could have done, and you  didn’t need to spend your remaining time and energy reading heartbroken messages and feeling like you needed to respond to them.  I’m only sorry that you never got to see, in life, that sunroom you were looking forward to, but it comforts me to think of your spirit there, being born again through the roots of a young tree, with the sun streaming in through the panels of stained glass in warm, multi-coloured hues.  I’m sure it’ll be beautiful. You deserve no less.