someone explain the jewish holidays to me like i’m 5 years old

rizaoftheowls:

derinthemadscientist:

rizaoftheowls:

Purim: They tried to kill us, we survived. Let’s tell the story, wear silly costumes, and get wasted. (Optional: have a carnival or a play!)

Passover: They enslaved us, God freed us. Remember this via a big ceremony/feast and then don’t eat bread for a week. This is a big one; you’re going to have to clean your house and host all your relatives.

Tu B’Shevat: It’s Earth Day, let’s eat some fruit.

Simchas Torah: We read the entire Torah every year, and we got to the end! Let’s have a dance party and then start all over again!

Tisha B’Av: They destroyed our temples. That sucked.

Rosh HaShanah: Happy New Year! It’s time to ask (and grant) forgiveness for the wrongs done in the past year, pledge to do better, and wish for a sweet new year. And go to synagogue for HOURS.

Yom Kippur: Rosh HaShanah’s somber counterpart. God decides on this day your fate for the next year. Repent your sins, hope for forgiveness, and fast. (And go to synagogue for HOURS.)

Yom HaShoah: Holocaust Remembrance Day.

Sukkot: Harvest festival! Sleep in a hut under the stars.

Shemini Atzeret: Man, I don’t even know?

Shavuot: God gave us the Torah! That was pretty nice of him.

Chanukah: They busted up our temple and tried to forcibly convert us. We responded with guerilla warfare. Let’s eat some fried food. Candles!

So basically the entire Jewish holiday calendar is giving the middle finger to death and high-fiving, with or without various combinations of prayer and foods.

Yup. Or as we say, “They tried to kill us, we survived, let’s eat.”

gehayi:

bottle-of-bucky:

thehobbitranger:

hellorivolta:

Captain America knows what’s good.

STAY WOKE

This is the Captain America we need in 2017.

Let’s hear Cap’s entire speech:

“Listen to me– all of you out there! You were told by this man– your hero– that America is the greatest country in the world! He told you that Americans were the greatest people– that America could be refined like silver, could have the impurities hammered out of it, and shine more brightly! He went on about how precious America was – how you needed to make sure it remained great! And he told you anything was justified to preserve that great treasure, that pearl of great price that is America!

“Well, I say America is nothing! Without its ideals– its commitment to the freedom of all men, America is a piece of trash! A nation is nothing! A flag is a piece of cloth! I fought Adolf Hitler not because America was great, but because it was fragile! I knew that liberty could be snuffed out here as in Nazi Germany! As a people, we were no different than them! When I returned, I saw that you nearly did turn American into nothing! And the only reason you’re not less then nothing– is that it’s still possible for you to bring freedom back to America!”

Captain America, “What If (Captain America Were Not Revived Until Today)?” Volume 1 #44 (Peter Gillis, writer), April 1984 

hannigramgf:

Something I had to understand in order to fully accept my bisexuality is that bisexuality isn’t “50% attracted to men, 50% attracted to women”. It’s “100% attracted to men, 100% attracted to women”. In other words, my attraction to my gender is a whole attraction. My attraction to other genders is a whole attraction. It’s not like one pole of my attraction is reduced or diminished because of the other pole. It’s not as if my attraction “shifts” so that if I’m currently attracted to a woman, my attraction to other genders reduces. Essentially, it’s not a zero sum game. My bisexuality includes the fullness of both poles of my attraction. And I know that many bisexual people say that they have preferences, or even parse their sexuality into percentages. I know that many are just tempted to do that because straight people misunderstand bisexuality. But I think it’s so important to emphasize that bisexual attraction is not inherently less or more of heterosexual or gay attraction. Reclaim both poles of your sexuality – your attraction to your gender and other genders. Understand that for you, the two exist separately but in tandem with each other. They may influence each other, but they do not counteract or negate each other. I’m 100% bisexual, which means I am 100% attracted to women and 100% attracted to people of other genders. I’m not 50% or 33% anything. 

mamoru:

mamoru:

https://us.community.samsung.com/t5/forums/v3_1/forumtopicpage/board-id/GalaxySNineQandA/thread-id/5854/page/1

https://www.reddit.com/r/GalaxyS9/comments/8u36jz/my_s9_sent_my_entire_photo_gallery_to_my/

https://gizmodo.com/a-bug-in-samsungs-default-texting-app-is-sending-random-1827291759

if you have a samsung galaxy/note phone (and potentially other samsungs) disable storage permissions for stock messenger, long story short apparently some people’s entire galleries are being texted to random recipients after a recent update. so uh. your whole gallery can be texted to a random contact without your knowledge. evidence of the photos being sent only show up to the recipient. so unless they tell you, someone could have all of your pictures without your knowledge. this is a truly dangerous bug and more people are realizing they are affected by the hour. nobody knows what causes it or how to stop it for sure

just want to emphasize that this is happening and is horrible and potentially life changing. a few people are reporting their entire gallery being texted to a random contact. every photo. aside from the obvious danger of accidentally sending inappropriate pictures to co-workers or something, this could out a lot of people to abusive family or put folks in danger or someone even mentioned having inappropriate pictures accidentally sent to a child. the biggest workarounds right now are switching from the stock messenger app on samsung devices and disabling storage permissions and connectivity between gallery and SMS and just as many permissions as possible until anyone figures out why this is happening. this bug potentially affects anyone using the stock samsung text/messenger/SMS app.

sun-of-another-universe:

bigmamag:

bi-trans-alliance:

absolutely-walnuts:

Basically every Millennial owes it to every underage Gen Z to get out there and vote. In the absence of voting power, we are seeing these incredible Gen Z activists advocating for their own safety. They shouldn’t have to. These are children being forced to fight for their lives, and we owe them so much better. 

Millennials have a huge amount of legislative power. Millennials make up more than 30% of those eligible for vote. 

Millennials own 30+% of national voting power.

We outnumber the boomers. 

Millennials outnumber boomers.

But traditionally we vote at lower rates. That statistic is changing, and it needs to change faster. 

At this point I think we can all agree, millennials are morally obligated to use their voting power to protect a younger generation that has, like us, been failed and abused by the boomers. Get out there, register, vote, speak. Do not fail Gen Z the way our elders failed us. 

REGISTER TO VOTE

we need to vote because we need to stall Trump at every corner. In 2016 I did early voting for the first time, and it was fucking easy as hell, I just went to my county’s voting location and it took less than five minutes with barely any line, and that was a presidential election not a mid-term. I straddle between Generation X and Millennial, and trust me those who are 30+ don’t vote either and need to get out there

Let’s work together to rise together.

Our vote = their vote.