wyrdmorrish:

keshetchai:

keshetchai:

best part of the seder i had was this moment:

R: Well, I really value Jewish tradition and ritual, but I’m an atheist.
Me: Good thing you don’t need to believe in G-d to have dinner. 

actually this isn’t the real best part of my seder. 

the BEST part of the seder was that the apartment next door was ALSO an airbnb who asked to borrow my cooking pot, since neither place had a stocked kitchen. I loaned it to them after we made matzah ball soup so that they could make fried chicken (after all, passover ended that night). They were holding a birthday party and needed to fry chicken for 24 people. I understood this was dire and also offered to feed people doing set up. They passed on that, and instead I just loaned them the pot. 

So, when the seder was almost fully finished we decided that someone ought to drink the elijah cup. We also decided it would be brilliant to talk to our neighbors again, three cups of wine and many martinis later (I mean I didn’t drink that much, but uh, my guests did). So we knocked on the neighbor’s door and asked the girl who answered if she would drink it for us. 

She was not the girl who had asked us earlier to borrow the pot, or the birthday girl, but she was game to listen to the request when she realized we had been the ones to loan the stock pot. 

Anyways, I tried to explain awkwardly that we symbolically pour a cup of wine for a jewish prophet to drink, but like…obviously he doesn’t actually show up to drink it, and normally a parent drinks it while no one is looking, but we’re all adults and everyone is looking, so could you maybe drink it? (all prefaced with “This is like…a Jewish thing and explaining it is complicated BUT–)

she was like “ohhh, okay.  …Wait, but you can’t watch while i drink then!” and i was like oh yeah, good point, and then she was like “will this fuck me up?” and I said “No, no, it’s barely wine.” (because it was manischewitz)

so like… maybe 5 of us were in the hallway and she was like “alright, cool. turn around.” and so we all turned around and that’s when she met elijah and handed him the cup and he drank it. then she announced it had been emptied and we all turned back around.  after our neighbor said it tasted good and we all thanked her, we went back inside and finished the seder. 

When I woke up this morning, the cooking pot had been returned to our apartment, along with a large glass bottle tucked inside.

And that’s the story of how elijah 100% definitely drank the wine at my seder and then gifted me tequila in return. 

“…and so we all turned around and that’s when she met elijah and handed him the cup and he drank it…”