for the last……..i don’t know, 5 or so years, my m.o. regarding internet bisexual disourse has largely been to ignore it and encourage other bi people to do the same. it made sense to me because as far as i could see it was an issue that exclusively existed on this site. which isn’t to say i didn’t think it was harmful – i hated myself for years as a direct result of the things other lgbt people said about bisexual women on here – but i thought the harm could largely be avoided by blocking the few loudmouths who were trying to start shit and hanging with people who weren’t evil.
i no longer feel that way.
i no longer feel that way because, as of yesterday, you absolute fucking buffoons have ran your mouth so far that your fire new radical materialist feminist discourse so hot even fellow lgbts cant handle????????? has reached lena fucking dunham
do you want to know WHY your radical materialist feminist discourse reached lena dunham?????
because a bisexual journalist made this simple ass tweet
and in response, some straight white woman decided to tweet this
which would have just stayed straight nonsense if an extremely smart and clever white lesbian writer friend of hers hadn’t decided to join in with a searing hot take based on a radical perspective towards gender that could only have been achieved with her clearly useful phd in queer literature
which would have just stayed mildly irritating if she and the rest of her friends hadn’t proceeded to defend themselves by arguing that bi women deserve rape and abuse actually
which would have only been horrifyingly offensive if all of these people weren’t 1.) people who make money writing about lgbt shit that 2.) were tweeting from their work accounts where 3.) they have enough reach to be followed by actually influential people such as comrade lena dunham
so seeing as the “close your eyes and maybe itll go away” method has CLEARLY failed, i am genuinely pleased to announce my new tactic. its called
Can I also just draw out here that their argument is LITERALLY that “women who sleep with men deserve what happens to them.”
Like.
This kind of person is, straight (haha) up, the kind of person who is only here for “I want mine”. If they’d been born a straight guy they’d be the worst kind of bros.
This is a thing that happens: I know PLENTY of straight white women whose grasp of feminism is limited strictly to “this affects me, so it’s important”. And of every other stripe of identity.
But never mistake it for anything than what it is.
treating bi feminist women like they’ve inherently joined some ‘pro-men’ political side of feminism by simply being out and proud about their bisexuality/factually attracted to men is fucked up. stop letting men define women and their politics, no matter what their sexuality.
On a serious note, the IPV/abuse rates that bisexual women face are absolutely not restricted to “anglo-saxons”. Bisexual women of color are even more at risk of facing domestic violence and intimate partner violence, because homophobia and misogyny are racialized when enacted against people of color, especially women of color. There are more bisexual people of color than white bisexual people in the global bisexual community, which obviously means that proportionally, more bisexual victims of abuse/IPV are nonwhite than white. This goes for sexual harassment, stalking, and sexual violence as well. For example, the first bisexual person to ever successfully petition for asylum on the basis of escaping homophobia was Apphia Kumar, a bisexual woman from India. Not only is she a woman of color, but she is literally a nonwestern woman.
It’s very much an issue that bi people of color and bi women of color especially have to deal with, and it’s disgusting that our struggles with violence aren’t recognized by anyone, even by white bisexuals.
Something I had to understand in order to fully accept my bisexuality is that bisexuality isn’t “50% attracted to men, 50% attracted to women”. It’s “100% attracted to men, 100% attracted to women”. In other words, my attraction to my gender is a whole attraction. My attraction to other genders is a whole attraction. It’s not like one pole of my attraction is reduced or diminished because of the other pole. It’s not as if my attraction “shifts” so that if I’m currently attracted to a woman, my attraction to other genders reduces. Essentially, it’s not a zero sum game. My bisexuality includes the fullness of both poles of my attraction. And I know that many bisexual people say that they have preferences, or even parse their sexuality into percentages. I know that many are just tempted to do that because straight people misunderstand bisexuality. But I think it’s so important to emphasize that bisexual attraction is not inherently less or more of heterosexual or gay attraction. Reclaim both poles of your sexuality – your attraction to your gender and other genders. Understand that for you, the two exist separately but in tandem with each other. They may influence each other, but they do not counteract or negate each other. I’m 100% bisexual, which means I am 100% attracted to women and 100% attracted to people of other genders. I’m not 50% or 33% anything.
tfw you’re bisexual and admiring pretty girls but then you remember you’re also attracted to men and you’re like “that’s cool too” because men are fine as hell and there’s nothing wrong with your attraction to them
I like how the op is gender netural for all my bi boys and nb folks out there
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