Tag: i had similar experiences growing up

closet-keys:

honestly when I was isolated and closeted and straight people would talk so negatively about gay people who “made it their whole personality” or whatever, it’d make me so anxious and sad. It was always presented like there were

The Good Gays, who were Just Like Everyone Else, and liked straight things, looked Just Like Everyone Else, and didn’t talk about being gay, and definitely didn’t ‘shove it in anyone’s face’ or let it ‘define them.’ 

and then there were

The Bad Gays, who, from what I could tell, were flamboyant gay men and butch lesbians (f*gs and d*kes), proudly out gay people, gay people who liked rainbows and gay culture, politically active gay people, gay people who talked about being gay all the time, gay people with lisps, gay people who are angry, gay people who don’t “pass” as straight, gay people who love being gay and being around other gay people

And I spent so much time early on internally scolding myself. I thought it was wrong to think & talk about being gay 24/7 and enjoy gay culture and feel safest in LGBT spaces. I would always feel guilty and embarrassed every time I brought up anything gay. I thought maybe after a while I’d ‘get it out of my system’ or something and not feel the need for it to ‘define me’ anymore, but it never went away, that intense connection and joy from LGBT spaces and culture. 

But now, look: I have this blog where I can just share every gay thought I have with y’all day after day and no one’s annoyed with me for it. In fact, it’s something that’s appreciated! And I can follow a hundred other blogs by folks doing the same. 

I am The Bad Gay and I love Bad Gays. I’m so relieved to have found you all.