let’s take a moment to appreciate how goth culture has allowed many closeted trans ppl the opportunity to wear jewelry, makeup, and nail polish, under less scrutiny from the cishet world
or, conversely– combat boots, waistcoats, oxford shoes, ties, stud belts, wallet chains, and other “traditionally masculine” accessories
#the total and utter blurring of the gender binary is honestly this style’s biggest sourceof power lbr#we got dudes in corsets and gals in tuxes and some folks wearing both at the same time. (@ninjagiry)
Tag: lgbtq+
when talking abt LGBT issues we gotta keep in mind that like
1. internet communities and discourse dont reflect the real world at all
2. some people dont actually live in seattle
So all it takes for a buy is women kissing in the trailer? I’ll remember that and except a buy from you in the future
Let’s not pretend you’ll ever create any real lesbian content for my consumption or financial contribution but yeah, if women kiss then chances are I’m going to take a peek (and I’ll definitely buy in abundance and forcefully recommend it if it’s WoC kissing because that’s glorious) and I feel no shame about this because I feel no shame about my sexuality and women kissing women is kind of my thing.
Pretty sure lesbians like seeing lesbians in their media and most are more likely to support if we get representation. If seeing women kiss makes you mad then you have issues.
Half of being trans is being hypervigilant against transphobes. Like, I spent 15 minutes scrolling down on a blog that I would be super interested in just to make sure that it wasn’t going to start reblogging stuff from my favorite transmisogynists. Turns out that my hypervigilance was right again.
Things to look for:
- References to “vagina envy.” This is what initially got me scrolling. This alone isn’t a sure indicator.
- Andrea Dworkin quotes without criticism
- Reblogging from troll accounts like confirmed-/-terf
Most cis wlw on Tumblr are, in fact, supportive of trans people. Most cis wlw who mention “hating men” are not using this as an attack on trans women. However, because of my experience with the small, insular, and vitriolic trans-exclusionary feminists on Tumblr, I have learned to be hypervigilant and it Really Fucking Sucks and Really Fucking Hurts when I am right.
I am a lesbian. This kind of blog would have been My Shit. But I’ve been taught to distrust the very women I connect with the most. I’ve been taught to feel afraid in my own home.
Being a transgender lesbian is constantly walking on eggshells to not prove them right. And their standards are ever changing so it’s inevitable that you’ll prove them right. Righteous anger will be taken as “male propensity towards violence,” which closely mirrors the way men see outspoken women as “shrill.” If we do anything to fight back outside of debate within their terms, we are immediately casted as “violent men.” They will not be satisfied until we shut up, lie down, and die.
Cis wlw can and should reblog this. Help me remember my allies.
The Co-Occurrence of Asexuality and Self-Reported Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder Diagnosis and Sexual Trauma Within the Past 12 Months Among U.S. College Students
honestly when I was isolated and closeted and straight people would talk so negatively about gay people who “made it their whole personality” or whatever, it’d make me so anxious and sad. It was always presented like there were
The Good Gays, who were Just Like Everyone Else, and liked straight things, looked Just Like Everyone Else, and didn’t talk about being gay, and definitely didn’t ‘shove it in anyone’s face’ or let it ‘define them.’
and then there were
The Bad Gays, who, from what I could tell, were flamboyant gay men and butch lesbians (f*gs and d*kes), proudly out gay people, gay people who liked rainbows and gay culture, politically active gay people, gay people who talked about being gay all the time, gay people with lisps, gay people who are angry, gay people who don’t “pass” as straight, gay people who love being gay and being around other gay people
And I spent so much time early on internally scolding myself. I thought it was wrong to think & talk about being gay 24/7 and enjoy gay culture and feel safest in LGBT spaces. I would always feel guilty and embarrassed every time I brought up anything gay. I thought maybe after a while I’d ‘get it out of my system’ or something and not feel the need for it to ‘define me’ anymore, but it never went away, that intense connection and joy from LGBT spaces and culture.
But now, look: I have this blog where I can just share every gay thought I have with y’all day after day and no one’s annoyed with me for it. In fact, it’s something that’s appreciated! And I can follow a hundred other blogs by folks doing the same.
I am The Bad Gay and I love Bad Gays. I’m so relieved to have found you all.
The police interacting with trans protesters vs the police interacting with aggressive homophobes at Glasgow Pride.
Who breaks the glass in a lesbian wedding????
Wait guys! Rainbow chuppah. Why don’t more people do this?
AHEM.
Gay male characters who are effeminate and/or have their gayness as a major component of their characterization/storylines are NOT automatically stereotypical or bad representation.
Like I mostly see this sentiment come from straight people but I see it from others in the LGBT+ community too (including other gay men), and I just think it’s such a wrongheaded way of thinking. Like gay characters where their sexuality is “no big deal” or who behave very “normal” or “mundane” certainly have their place. But I think lauding “NBD representation” as the gold standard is problematic because oftentimes these gay characters are written where their sexuality is kind of incidental, and that’s not something that’s done usually in the interest of quality representation as much as it is making gay people more palatable for straight consumption.
Because, the truth is, there are gay people of all varieties. Flamboyant flashy gay men, mundane gay men, gay men where their sexuality is super central to them, and gay men who do kind of put their sexuality on the back burner. And all of that is valid. But the fact that our media tends to promote certain types as being “stereotypical” or “bad representation” and others as preferable, when the one portrayed as preferable is the one that is most comfortable for straight people? That’s… kind of insidious in a way.
In media, stereotypes are about being essentialist and often times to sort of mock marginalized people and make them the butt of a joke. If a show/movie/comic/whatever has an effeminate gay man who is respected by the narrative and is a fleshed out character, then they’re not stereotypical. Gay men are ALLOWED to be flamboyant or effeminate. If a piece of media spends a lot of time focusing on a character’s sexuality as their primary plot, as long as they have other interests and other traits, that’s not a bad direction, and I’d personally GREATLY appreciate more stories that deal with actual issues that are unique to gay men.
Trying to box gay men in media into this one specific type of representation is just another type of closet, imo. Let gay men be gay men in the media we consume. And I’m also really fucking sick of people who aren’t gay men telling gay men how they should write gay men, especially straight men, but that’s a whole ‘nother topic.
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