odin is like “when thor was born the sun shone bright upon his beautiful face. i found loki on the sidewalk outside a taco bell”
Oðinn spake:
Bright the sun shone | at the time of Þor’s birth, And bathed his count’nance fair. Loki, wolf-father, | the trickster, the liar, I found on the cold pavement While returning in glory | from a grand hunt For a 3 AM quesadilla.
I have absolutely no problem with the character or any movie that does not exist for me, but I have always been confused by how attractive other people find Thor.
…he’s goofy and has way too much hair? That’s… cute, but trying to see it as sexual in any way just makes me headtilt.
I’d say it’s proof I’m mostly attracted to women, except for the weird “Thor belongs to the lesbians” thing.
Idk I’m weird.
thor IS a butch lesbian, or more accurately, he’s the Male version of the stereotypical Tumblr butch Lesbian. macho, but harmless, boisterous, but sweet.
…huh.
Maybe I’ve been mislabeling myself?
I love Thor as a character but I’ve never found him attractive. I had a shameless crush on Loki about 6 years ago, which I thought went away until @sinaesthete introduced me to the fem!Loki/Valkyrie ship. Hot damn.
man. Remember the first time you watched Thor: Ragnarok (2017) Dir. Taika Waititi and hela asked thor ‘what were the god of again?’ and then it went to loki smirking and you KNEW something good was coming. And then immigrant song started to kick in and the LIGHTING started and you felt your SOUL leave your body and go to another plan of existance. Then Thor desending lighting and all onto that pile of aliens in slow motion looking goddamn RENAISSANCE painting? That moment changed me! the DRAMA! The rest of that scene? Valkyrie, Loki, and Hulk fighting together? Thor’s LIGHTING striking those aliens straight outta there like they were fucking ants? ICONIC! The iconic truly JUMPED out of that movie! Taika Waititi took my hand in that movie, told me it was all gonna be ok and then changed my life FOREVER! That was ART! Mr. Waititi thank you for my LIFE
For those who have not yet felt this experience in all it’s glory (or those who just want to feel it again):
I thought the title card said “The Footage contained heroin” and got v confused
has anyone made a post about, wrote a fanfic about, or said anything about how much Thor, patron god of lesbians, would adore Anissa Pierce aka Thunder?
Tonight at the gym a man who looked like fuckin Thor asked me out and when I told him I was a lesbian he goes “oh. Chill. You know, my sister and I work out a lot together. She’ll be here tomorrow, same time.”
Like…did Thor just wingman me?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED OP? WHERE’S THE REST OF THE STORY??
UPDATE HIS SISTER IS REALLY FUCKING CUTE
OMG WOMAN GIVE US DETAILS how are we supposed to live vicariously through you otherwise????
It was actually really awkward. Thor was like “hey! This is the lesbian” and I was like oh hi okay we’re doing this and Thor was like “this is my sister. She’s bisexual” and the sister was not in any world amused and then they left and I saw her bench press like twice her brother’s weight but yeah she’s gorgeous I’m gone I’m done for
Headcanon: Loki’s actually quite good at healing magic, but only because Frigga made him learn it after she got sick of healing young!Thor’s stab wounds every second day.
loki: *stabs thor* don’t tell mom, I’ll heal you, you’re fine, don’t tell mom, it’s only a flesh wound
In Scandinavian mythology there’s only one person who can beat the god Thor in a wrestling match: the elderly woman Elle.
When Thor was asked to wrestle her he laughed, thinking it would be the easiest win of his life, but he had to admit defeat within minutes because Elle is no ordinary old lady. She is the personification of aging itself, and no one can beat age.
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