Tag: vampires
actually when I was in 8th grade and obsessed with twilight my master plan as a twilight vampire was to sit around in famous shipwrecks like the super deep ones where they can only send robots with cameras from their submarines and when they sent one down i’d be sitting there, pretending to drink out of an old tea cup you know for the drama of it all and the guys in the submarine would know what they saw and that it was real footage but who else would believe them? no one important.
but it didn’t stop there. at the next party they threw to celebrate one of their latest finds, some museum-y banquet idk I was 13, I was going to show up. I was going to show up and make eye contact with them one at a time from across the room and they were going to lose their goddamn minds and then before the volturi could catch wind i was gonna be back in the ocean. how could they find me?
the drama. the theatrics. i can’t believe i didn’t realize i was gay right then but that’s another story, also involving vampires,
Way more interesting than the actual Twilight saga.
Taika Waititi should seriously make a What We Do in the Shadows ep with this plot.
one time i was on an old street in glasgow and i made a loud joke about vampires and as i did this beautiful man with long hair on the other side of the street made direct eye contact with me and then ten minutes later he walked by again and looked at me and I still count that on my list of the five closest times I’ve ever come to dying
Scotland just be like that
What if the sun doesn’t actually hurt vampires?
Vampires are just nocturnal, the same way we are diurnal. A vampire could go out during the day, but they would just rather be sleeping.
Vampires are just afraid of the light, the same way we are afraid of the dark. Their eyes are meant to see in the dark, so they just can’t see very well in the light. It hurts their eyes and they can’t see what’s around them, so it’s just scary.
Some vampire was probably too afraid to admit that he was afraid of the light, so he made up a fake allergy to the sun. Word got out to mortals, so we just assumed that all vampires are allergic to the sun. You know how mortals like to stereotype and whatnot.
But imagine pop, sunny vampires that are the vampire version of goth, dark humans. They like to go out in the sun and wear bright clothes, and the other vampires think it’s metal as fuck. “Oh, you know Victoria Anne III? Yeah she’s totally pop. Her friends call her Susan.”
I fucking love this
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